I wait months for a pumpkin scone from Starbucks. I know the pumpkin is fake and the “limited availability” is manufactured. Still, my tastebuds wait impatiently for leaves to change color in Chicago so they can partake in an orgy … Continue reading →

I remember, as a child, my mother explaining the ways in which my family’s feng shui is weak. The front and back doors of our home were aligned, which meant that cosmic forces would flow, uninterrupted, out of our house. … Continue reading →

I like my steak medium-rare. I prefer rashes and mosquito bites to be rare occurrences. Back in the day, when you stole candy, your granddad could spank your bottom rare. It’s easy to use the word “rare” in concrete, meaningful ways. So then, … Continue reading →